Can Choosing Friendships Over Career Fulfill Us More?

Making a podcast episode is like reading a book five times.

For starters, I typically choose guests based off their ideas.

I have a planning call with them, introduce myself, and hear their ideas directly.

I explore their ideas even more when we’re recording the podcast.

Then I listen back to our conversation when I edit the episode.

Once it’s published, I do one last check on Spotify for quality control.

Through this process there are always some ideas that float to the top.

I refer to these ideas as rubber duckies.

Here’s a rubber duckie that’s floating in my head today:

Being a part of a healthy community and having meaningful relationships requires sacrifice, choice, and resources.

For instance, the last podcast guest I had on, Trent Howard, is a petroleum engineer by training. He worked his tail off in school to get a degree that not many people end up getting.

Early on he decided that he was going to be a petroleum engineer because it was the most lucrative major.

And this choice came with STRUGGLE.

There were classes where 40% of the students flunked out.

There were countless study sessions, late nights, and thin deadlines.

But he realized two key things during this process:

1. He didn’t like petroleum engineering.

2. Financial success wasn’t his highest value.

Both of these realizations led him to open a different door.

On the other side of this door was two epiphanies:

1. Life is better in community.

2. Coffee is one of the best cornerstones for conversation and community.

Rather than work on an oil rig, he decided to move to a different state with a group of friends and build a coffee shop.

He chose to finish his degree. After graduating he packed his bags and moved away.

But this choice came with STRUGGLE.

As a new resident in a new state, he worked two jobs hoping that his business would succeed.

FOMO creeped in when he saw his friends making $ as petroleum engineers.

The roadblocks came immediately: issues with building inspections, missing people back home, and learning a new business.

I could go on - the story is still going - but let’s look at the whole picture.

This choice also came with REWARDS.

By choosing to stick with his people, Trent navigated life with community.

He had people to share life with during the tough moments. He was able to make fun memories and laugh off the struggles.

This made the pain more bearable. He realized that no matter where he lived or what job he had - he needed good people.

Hearing Trent’s story made me reflect on mine.

In 2023 I made a few choices:

1. create a podcast

2. start a newsletter

3. build a business

These choices had inherent rewards and struggles.

I got a ton of experience, I made a lot of cool content, and I made some money. But I also spent most of my weekends by myself, creating things, planning content, or dreaming.

Unsurprisingly - every choice comes with reward and struggle. 

If you want to be able to invite someone over to watch movies then you need to go out and meet that person. This will require you to sacrifice something else that you could be doing with that time instead.

If you want someone to vent to then you need to go out and build that trust and be vulnerable. It has to be an active choice.

If you want a church to call home, a person to call your soulmate, or a friend group that has raucous movie nights, then you need to go get it.

We’ve already made choices - and we’re already reaping the rewards and enduring the struggles. But some of us didn’t thoughtfully choose. The choice was made for us.

Ask yourself: “What are the things I want in life and where should I be investing my time and energy so that I can increase the chance that I get them.”

Making this decision determines what we should expect, where we’re likely to see growth, and what we’re leaving in the shadows.

I hope having meaningful relationships is on your list.

As you’re doing this, remember:

I’m just a message, text, or call away.

Chris